There Will Be No Commentary

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There Will Be Blood (Two-Disc Special Collector’s Edition)

There Will Be Blood is scheduled to be released on DVD April 8, and we’ll have a choice of two editions: “bare bones,” and “bare bones in a classier package.” Although the cover art for the 2-Disc collector’s edition is cool enough to be Criterion, the early word on the extra features is typical perfunctory Paramount (notice they’re not calling it a “special” edition; just a “collectors” edition, so at least they’re not making empty promises).

What do we get to “collect”? A couple of deleted scenes, one of which we’ve already seen online (the haircut); teaser and trailer; and something called Dailies Gone Wild (fingers crossed that’s a typo for “Day-Lewis Gone Wild” — now that would be worth the extra 10 bucks.) Disc Two will also include a vintage 1923 silent movie called the “The Story of Petroleum” (but inexplicably omits the much sexier sequel, “The Story of Petroleum Jelly.”)

The cover art is elegant as hell though, and way more appealing than the generic floating heads formula on the DVD artwork somebody designed in their sleep for No Country for Old Men (Marketing Nitwit: “What can we do to homogenize this movie so that it blends in inconspicuously with every other box at Blockbuster?”)

Nothing listed in this advanced peek at the special features sounds half as interesting as the clip of an interview with Paul Thomas Anderson at the Acrlight you’ll find after the cut.

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=M1us8RFaTSA&feature=related[/youtube]

Think how fun 2-and-a-half hours of scene-by-scene voiceover like that would be. But alas, according to “definitive PT Anderson resource” cigarettes and red vines:

…there is no commentary track, nor will there ever probably be one again. paul mentioned to me how alot of the buzz has been taken from doing them because people quote them back verbatim to him in interviews and fun/flippant comments are regarded as gospel. (not a quote, but the gist of what was said)

(“fun/fippant remarks regarded as gospel” — I feel ya. )

Yeah, I’m bummed about the lack of commentary. There goes my chance to pretend I’m sitting next to PTA on my living room sofa (or better yet, his living room sofa) and attaining Bodhi tree enlightenment the way I was able to do with his extraordinary commentary track on Boogie Nights. But I’ll still be buying this collector’s edition, just for the pretty box. (Go ahead and make a snide remark about packaging and marketing savvy vs. substance and content. I’ll kick your ass.)