Abbi and Ilana have a strange connection. On one hand, it seems like a completely normal female friendship with two women who would do anything for each other. On the other hand, there’s Ilana following Abbi to an art class so she could be the nude model.
Ilana is clearly the “Single White(?) Female” of this relationship, and it’s a discomfort that adds to the hilarity of many Broad City situations. Even in last week’s episode, Ilana says that Abbi will be in the room when she someday gives birth because she’ll be her focal point (yikes).
Because Ilana is so loyal to Abbi, it’s natural that she would want to play nurse after dentist boyfriend Lincoln removes her best friend’s wisdom teeth.
Although it may have been better if Lincoln also removed Abbi’s tongue. When Abbi runs into her crush Jeremy, she ends up with her foot—and other metaphorical things—in her mouth.
“It’s good, though,” says Abbi of the upcoming operation. “It’ll make more room in my mouth. No, I didn’t mean blow jobs.”
While Lincoln is counting down with Abbi’s anesthesia, he regales her with the story of Felicity Porter, who went to the University of New York even though her parents wanted her to go to Stanford. Before Abbi slips into unconsciousness, with her favorite blue stuffed animal Bingo Bronson under her arm, she sees Ilana hovering over her, threatening to kill herself if she doesn’t make it out.
When she wakes up, Lincoln is done with the story of WB’s Felicity, but Ilana still has questions (“You’re telling me there’s one black person, and she’s killed off?”). Yes, Ilana had stayed during the whole surgery and is now going to take care of Abbi for the remainder of the day. All she has to remember is two Vicodin every four hours.
Even though Abbi takes a header following the surgery, she still manages to do a good Drew Barrymore impression on the cab ride home (“The gauze in your mouth adds authenticity,” says Ilana). She spouts off Barrymore’s bio, including her work with Flower Films (“My grandfather is a legendary film actor John Barrymore”).
Good on her promise, it literally takes Ilana two seconds to pick up some weed on the ride home (from a bicyclist riding alongside their cab) and at home, Ilana plays nursemaid to Abbi, in what looks like a clown’s nurse uniform.
With help from Jaime (whom you may remember from the “Hurricane Wanda” episode last season), Ilana accidentally doubles Abbi’s Vicodin dosage, with four pills at once.
“I am her mother now,” says Ilana of Abbi, before sending Jaime to pick up fro-yo at Squirts.
In addition to an overdose, Ilana’s brand of medical attention includes scrunchies, hair braids, and firecrackers, which is a smoothie concoction that includes weed.
But while Ilana is working on cooking a firecracker, Abbi, jacked up on Uncle Sam pills, grabs her phone and dials Jeremy.
“You know what Jeremy, I will say it again. I like you. I want us to go out.” She ends up leaving a 23-minute voicemail on his phone.
Meanwhile at Squirts, Jaime is trying to make decisions regarding toppings. He grabs one of everything, including Nicorette flavored fro-yo.
While Abbi is unconscious, Ilana draws on her and interrupts Lincoln’s meditating session on Skype to show him her own ta-tas, questioning what old person they look like when there’s a smiley face drawn beneath them. Meanwhile Abbi escapes with Bingo Bronson, and it comes to life, taking her on an adventure involving YooHoo and the most magical place in all the land. . .Whole Foods.
Soon, Ilana is on her trail, while Abbi is buying high-class shit (although one would think she’d head to Bed Bath and Beyond—although we know she doesn’t like to eat where she shits). Bingo Bronson is reminiscent of the Bad Idea Bears in Avenue Q, encouraging her to spend a $1,487.66.
Eventually, Ilana finds her, after trailing her at a convenience store and getting a call from her credit card regarding suspicious activity. When she finally gets to Whole Foods, Ilana spots Abbi throwing some apple butter at a yuppie, who really hurt her ankle. Bingo Bronson returns to his regular stuffed-animal state.
Later that night, at home, Ilana is so horny it hurts, but what’s creepy is that she’s in bed with Lincoln—and Abbi. But before she and Lincoln can get it on with her best friend incapacitated next to her, it dawns on Ilana that Jaime never returned from Squirts! Yes, they’re about to close down and poor Jaime has yet to pick his toppings.
Abbi gets a nice little epilogue in this episode, where Jeremy confronts her about the voicemail she left him and tells her he wants to go out–and that he loved her Drew Barrymore impersonation.
What did you think of “Wisdom Teeth”? Do you want to see Abbi and Jeremy get together? Or do you enjoy their awkward run-ins in the hallway?