Extant Recap: A New World

At the beginning of this week’s singular episode of Extant, Sparks is on the run with his reconciled wife and their daughter.  Nothing like a shape-shifting alien baby offspring to bring back the family!  When Yasumoto’s men are sent to retrieve the baby, it uses its control to force one of the soldiers to take the rest of them out.  When Molly and Kern stumble on the scene later, Yasumoto tells Molly that she needs to bring him the offspring if “she wants to speak to her family again…take that however you like.”

At Chez Yasumoto, John is beginning to get suspicious of his host.  He records a conversation between Yasumoto and an assistant and translates it to discover that Yasumoto is running low on his drugs to keep him young.  Where’s Isabella Rossellini and those hunky Chippendales when you need them to provide you with a youth serum?  When John breaks into Yasumoto’s safe, Yasumoto tells John that he knows Ethan has sneaked out.

Remember when your mother taught you to never trust a hot guy with an accent?  Well, maybe that’s not a traditional, motherly cautionary tale, but Odin puts the idea in Ethan’s mind that John has plans to shut him down.  He makes Ethan think he was progressing too quickly, and when he “checks on” Ethan’s power, Odin takes both packs out of Ethan’s back rendering him unconscious.

When Molly and Kern catch up with Sparks at a small motel, Anya and Katie are nowhere to be found.  He tells Molly that Katie made him choose between continuing their dangerous runaway or slowing down.  Molly and Kern take him to the ISEA where we meet Ryan Jackson, the man who has been in charge since Sparks decided to run around like a crazy person.  Sure.  Introduce another male character.  Perhaps this one will last an entire episode?  Sparks insists that he doesn’t know where his wife and “daughter” went, so Molly calls Yasumoto and lies about having the baby.  She insists to everyone that the baby will only trust her (Will they listen?  Surely they won’t just in time for a big finale!), so Yasumoto must come alone to exchange her baby for John and Ethan.

Meanwhile, the love of my life Odin plants a remote device into Ethan’s back and wakes him up…

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After a scuffle with Yasumoto, we learn why he is so desperate for the Tang-like substance and how it connects with Molly’s baby.  Flashback time!  Yasumoto used to work for Claypool Industries as a miner in order to provide for his young wife and unborn child.  He got trapped in a collapsed mine, but found a substance that kept him alive for the entire month he was trapped.  The same substance has been keeping him alive for over 140 years.  At this point, Neutrogena executives had to remind themselves that Extant is just a television drama.

The deeper in space Yasumoto explored (you know, over the 100 years he was alive), the closer he got to the origins of the meteor and its orbit.  Basically, Molly’s baby is the object of eternal youth.  Oh, so it all comes down to people clamoring for youth?  How Hollywood.  Molly leaves to find Sparks, and she realizes that he stayed behind so Anya and Katie could get away.  A few episodes ago, Molly contacted the current Seraphim astronaut, Sean Glass, and the Seraphim has been hovering over Earth.  ISEA officials board, and the bring someone very special with them: adult Katie Sparks.  The last image we see is Anya laying on the ground, presumably dead, as her beloved little girl walks out into the world—alone and dangerous.

Game of Thrones 5: Guess Which Characters You Won’t See

Sorry for the BuzzFeedy “You won’t believe….!” click-baitery, but the news strikes me as a little bit spoilery and I didn’t want to be the one blow it for you even though it’s spread all over the internet.

Anyway, buried way down at the end of a long interview with one of the show’s cast members at Yahoo! Australia is the revelation that their character is on a year long hiatus from the show. Of course, the internet misses nothing so this nugget has been blown up into headlines all over the internet.

The actor in question is Kristian Nairn who of course plays Hodor. He and Isaac Hempstead-Wright who plays Bran Stark will be taking the year off while the rest of the show gets caught up with the books George R.R. Martin has written so far.

If you want to read more about Nairn and his side gig as a DJ, check out the interview yourself.

SyFy bringing Clarke’s ‘Childhood’s End’ to TV

SyFy has announced ambitious plans to make a 6-hour miniseries out of Arthur C. Clarke novel Childhood’s End.

Originally published in 1953, the classic novel tells the story of a group of seemingly benign aliens, the Overlords, who take over earth near the end of the 20th Century and guide it toward becoming a peaceful utopia… but at what cost? (cue dramatic music). None other than the great Stanley Kubrick kicked the tires on this one back in the ’60s with an eye toward a feature film, but instead collaborated with Clarke directly on what became 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Enter SyFy who, like apparently every other cable backwater, is hoping to ramp up their output of original content. According to The Wrap, SyFy president Dave Howe claims: “This will be the most ambitious project for SyFy in many years.” Mind you, we’re talking about a network whose greatest claim to fame is a reboot of Battlestar Galactica back before they changed their name. Since? It’s mostly been remarkable for an endless series of cheap, intentionally terrible made-for-TV horror movies with funny titles like Sharktopus.

Nick Hurran (Sherlock) is lined up to direct , Matthew Graham (Life on Mars) is writing the adaptation while Akiva Goldsman (The Da Vinci Code, I am Legend) is one of the executive producers. I think I’ve expressed enough cynicism in this piece, so I’ll leave Goldsman alone for once.

Childhood’s End is planned for sometime in 2015. I hope I’m wrong and that it turns out to be terrific.

Is TV’s New Golden Age of Drama a Tin Age for Comedy?

The phrase “We are in a Golden Age of Television” gets tossed around a lot these days. Originally coined to reflect the blossoming possibilities of the early days of television, the words have cycled through the cultural landscape nearly every decade since television’s inception. But, when considering the shows offered up as evidence of this “Golden Age,” the most frequently mentioned shows have one thing in common: they’re all dramas.

Masters of Sex. Breaking Bad. Rectify. Mad Men. Game of Thrones. Hannibal. The Good Wife. Boardwalk Empire. The Walking Dead. The Knick. Downton Abbey. House of Cards. True Detective. Homeland. The Americans. Fargo. The list of shows goes on and on and on, offering up a gluttony of fantastic dramatic television on which viewers can gorge themselves.

They’re all dramas, though. Where are the great comedies thriving in this “Golden Age of Television?”

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Looking back through the history of television, there are indeed landmark dramatic series that could rival or surpass today’s crop, but television itself grew up and evolved on its comedies. Giants such as I Love Lucy, Maude, Good Times, All in the Family, The Cosby Show or Family Ties changed the television landscape, broadening our minds by exposing us to a variety of multi-cultural or socio-economic backgrounds. They gave us thoughtful stories and tackled difficult issues while making us laugh all the while.

Where are those shows now?

Last week, ABC’s Modern Family won its fifth consecutive Emmy for Best Comedy Series, a feat matched only by NBC’s Frasier in the 90s. Given that impressive pedigree, Modern Family must sit atop the heap in this new Golden era, right? Eh. Probably not.

While it’s a fine show that sometimes echoes the great social daringness of the comedies of the past (particularly in the recent gay marriage storyline), Modern Family has most certainly seen better days. It won that fifth Emmy not due to its insurmountable quality, in my opinion, but because there really wasn’t any significant competition. Personally, I would have given the trophy to the far superior (and more tough-minded) Veep, the only real choice in the category, but it’s apparently an acquired taste.

If we’re being honest, we are really in a “Golden Age” of dramatic television. Almost no one discussing the trend includes comedies in the conversation save one or two shows… maybe. If you look not only at the crop of recent Emmy nominees but the overall choices available to the Academy, it’s evident that the general state of comic TV shows is as anemic as it has been in decades.

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Of the 2013-2014 TV season, only a handful of comedies rate in the top 20, according to the website Metacritic:

  • Portlandia, Season 4: 87
  • Veep, Season 3: 87
  • It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 9: 85

That, my friends, is all they wrote.

Granted, Metacritic’s follow through on returning series leaves a little to be desired (it doesn’t even track reviews for Modern Family’s Emmy-winning fifth season), but you get the general idea. The rave reviews are reserved for the bigger shows, the buzzier dramas.

Of these highly rated comedies, only Veep made it into the Best Comedy Series circle, a grouping so weak that Netflix branded the freshman season of its popular Orange is the New Black (first season Metacritic: 79) a comedy despite having competed in earlier, non-Emmy competitions as a dramatic series. Showtime’s Shameless also retreated from its battles in the dramatic categories this year, redefined itself a comedy, and doubled its Emmy nomination count – granted, only two nominations.

I don’t watch Shameless, and I have long argued that Orange is a dramatic series given the heavily dramatic tone of its flashbacks. If both shows had stayed true to their more dramatic backgrounds, then they most certainly would have been lost in the dramatic series shuffle. Clearly, the Emmy voting body agreed, totally shutting out both shows in the major categories.

The comedy landscape wasn’t always this dry. Looking back on Emmy history, you see the category ripe with real competition as, frankly, there were more great comedies filling the landscape. Take a look at this year’s nominees and compare them to nominees two decades back:

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Looking at these 10-year increments, not only will you see a more robust Emmy Comedy race, but you will also see the inclusion of more buzz-worthy, groundbreaking comic television. The Emmys took time to award niche comedies (Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Larry Sanders Show) along with accomplished blue-collar television that appealed to a mass audience (Everybody Loves Raymond, Home Improvement).

And those were the shows that were nominated. Left out of the top races were some of television’s most popular comedies: Friends, Malcolm in the Middle, Roseanne, and Murphy Brown to name a few. We simply did not see that robust of a lineup this year. Completely gone from the conversation are the working class, blue-collar comedies that were so relatable to the average American family. You would be hard-pressed to find significant competition for the recent Best Comedy Series Emmy slots.

So, what happened to the American sitcom?

Everyone knows the old saying, “Dying is easy. Comedy is hard.” Producers of televised content still churn out comedies. They’re just not very good. Of the 21 new comedies that premiered during the 2013 Fall TV season, a whopping 15 shows were cancelled. Fox’s Us and Them has the dubious honor of ending its run after only airing a single episode. Not that that was unique to the most recent TV season, but, lately, the networks just seem to be throwing anything against the wall, hoping something sticks.

I would imagine it becomes expensive to gear up production and advertisements around a hot new comedy only to see it die out in a matter of weeks. As television moved beyond the standard four major networks, viewers’ short attention span has been drawn to what seems to have replaced the water-cooler comedies: water-cooler reality shows.

Shows like Duck Dynasty or Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo seem to have taken the place of the great Middle American, blue-collar comedies that have historically served as the backbone of televised comedy. Why watch some overpaid actor work a fake, laugh-tracked audience when you can laugh at real people, American seems to say. Given the success of these shows and their presumed lower cost, why would the networks continue to churn out riskier, higher-priced comic ventures?

Instead, they have responded with more reality-based television than ever before in the history of television. I don’t need to rattle off the titles; you all know what they are. Dramatic television series don’t really compete with reality TV because people still seem to crave escapism in their entertainment. But, for laughs, reality TV is the next best thing to watching your next-door neighbor fall off a ladder.

Additionally, many of the most buzzed-about television have prominent big-screen talent behind them. These filmmakers are largely unable to tell the stories that most engage them in today’s popcorn flick culture. Filmmakers such as Martin Scorsese and Steven Soderbergh look to televised dramas to convey their trickier, more complex content. Television provides room to grow and develop characters and, in turn, provide adult stories that are captivating the nation, and the actors are following suit.

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But these filmmakers aren’t going to television to make comedies. Sure, Armando Iannucci followed up his cult hit In the Loop (which was based on his UK show The Thick of It) with the great Veep, and Lena Dunham gave us Girls after breaking onto the scene with her independent film Tiny Furniture. These are but two examples of filmmakers looking to generate comic television content. Just this week, Scorsese announced his follow-up project to the final season of Boardwalk Empire – a prequel series to his film Shutter Island. Wouldn’t you absolutely love to see a Martin Scorsese-produced sitcom?

Just pause for a moment to think about that one…

With even critically panned film comedies continuing to perform (the recent Tammy has grossed to date over $80 million on a budget of $20 million), comic filmmakers aren’t giving up on the big screen and fleeing to television as quickly as their dramatic counterparts are. Thus, the recent influx of talent into television from big screen filmmakers only benefits dramatic content – not comedies.

I do not come here to bury the American sitcom. Comedies, like most everything, ebb and flow like the tides. Most recently, critics in the early 80s proclaimed the television comedy dead after an explosive period in the 1970s. But the sitcom came roaring back soon thereafter, heralded by classics like Family Ties, Cheers, and The Cosby Show.

So, no, I do not come here to bury the American sitcom, but I do come to put its picture on a milk carton.

There are still whispers of current sitcom greatness – even if the Emmys and audiences choose to ignore them. As more classic examples of comedies wane, niche or cult comedies are becoming more and more prevalent.

The much buzzed-about Community will live again on Yahoo! It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia has thrived for years well past what critics, who are firmly on board with it now, originally thought it would. Comedy Central offers a great deal of edgy comedy programming, probably because the stakes are lower there, led by the best show you’ve never heard of – Broad City. HBO gets points for bringing back the great Lisa Kudrow in The Comeback, and there are hints that Netflix will return to the Arrested Development well once more.

Expand the definition of comedy, and you’ll find Archer, Portlandia, and Drunken History garnering significant buzz in smaller circles. Even web giant Amazon has gotten into original comic programming and currently offers a new batch of pilots by the likes of Wilt Stillman and David Gordon Green, recently reviewed by Craig.

These small, cult-inspiring gems will have to tide us over until the “Golden Age of Television” reflects a balance between great dramas and great comedies.

Casting: Stamos, Daly, Sorvino, more coming to a small screen near you

Returning series

Modern Family (ABC): Emmy and Tony-winning actress Tyne Daley (Cagney & Lacey) will guest star on the fourth episode of the family sitcom’s 6th season as the hard-nosed teacher to Cam and Mitch’s adopted daughter Lily. Modern Family returns 9/24 (THR).

The Goldbergs (ABC): Paul Sorvino (GoodFellas) will play Jeff Garlin’s curmudgeonly father Pop-Pop in an episode of The Goldbergs when the 80’s-set sitcom returns September 24th (THR).

Faking It (MTV): The once-proud music channel’s single-camera romantic comedy adds Yvette Monreal (Matador) who will play Regan, a proudly out lesbian cater-waiter/DJ and Keith Powers (Pretty Little Liars) who will play Liam’s (Gregg Sulkin) friend Theo. The series which begins its second season 9/23 revolves around high school best friends Karma (Katie Stevens) and Amy (Rita Volk) who find their popularity on the rise when they’re mistaken for the school’s first lesbian couple (THR). Also of note, Orange is the New Black’s Emmy nominee Laverne Cox will guest star as the school’s drama club director, Margot (EW).

Major Crimes (TNT). Torrey DeVitto (Pretty Little Liars) will guest star as Nicole, the daughter of Lt. Andy Flynn (Tony Dennison) in the 13th episode of the police procedural starring Mary McDonnell (Battlestar Galactica, Dances with Wolves). The episode will run December 8 (TV Line).

New Series

Manhattan Love Story (ABC): Yet another ABC sitcom grows its cast. Nico Evers-Swindell (William & Kate) will have a recurring role as the gay senior editor at a publishing house who mentors Analiegh Tipton’s character Dana. The romantic comedy explores the new relationship of a young couple (Tipton and Jake McDorman) as they voice the questions they’re actually thinking along the way. The series debuts 9/30 (THR).

Scorpion (CBS): Brendan Hines (Suits) has been added to the cast of the new hour-long drama starring Katharine McPhee (American Idol) and Robert Patrick (Terminator 2, X-Files). He’ll play a recurring role as Drew, the father of McPhee’s genius son Ralph. Scorpion is about a team of geniuses who are recruited to solve world problems… ingeniously. It debuts 9/22 with a pilot episode directed by Justin Lin (Fast and Furious) who executive produces along with Star Trek‘s Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci (TV Line).

Members Only (ABC): John Stamos has been cast in a lead role on the 12-episode mid-season drama which tells the goings on amongst the guests and staff of a snooty Connecticut country club. The Full House alum will play the billionaire husband of Natalie Zea (Justified, The Following) (Deadline).

Fall TV Predictions: What Will Hit, What Will Miss

Labor Day is over, which means we’re headed into the fall TV season. A new crop of shows will be premiering on the big networks (ABC, CBS, CW, FOX, NBC).

Every year, I personally like to make a mental list of what I call “Drop Watch,” where I predict what will be canceled (past winners have included ABC’s “My Generation” and CBS’ “We Are Men”). This year, I’m going all out, with predictions for each new show of the season.

Here we go!

What Will Survive

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What’s on the Bubble

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What’s Getting Cancelled

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Unauthorized Saved by the Bell: I’m So Excited! I’m So Scarred!

The idea of a behind-the-scenes look at Saved by the Bell was more thrilling than skipping your last class before a long weekend.  I was a huge fan of the Saturday morning high school comedy-drama, so I sort of ignored the fact that Lifetime was the network in charge of resurrecting the likes of Zack Morris and his brick cell phone. Who doesn’t love a throwback to scrunchies, fluorescent tank tops, and early 1990’s music? It’s too bad that The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story was about as eventful as an M&M’s commercial, and here’s why it didn’t work.

No one likes Screech
The idea for this television event came from Dustin Diamond’s tell-all book, Behind the Bell which was published in 2009. At the very beginning of the movie, Mark-Paul Gosselaar (an unfortunately wigged Dylan Everett) is on the red carpet and he pauses the movie and talks directly to the camera a la his character, Zack Morris.  Immediately, Diamond steps in and insists that this is his story.  You can almost hear America rolling their collective eyes.  Screech is going to tell the story?  Don’t get me wrong—unlikable characters can add a lot of weight to a story, but Dustin Diamond’s public persona is rather douchey.  He has the gravitas of a Taco Bell cashier.  Did they give him the reigns just because he wrote the book (trust me, more on that later)?

Explosion at the Wig Factory
I admit that I complain about this too much, but what is with all the wretched hairstyling in this movie? This could have been the American Hustle of Lifetime made-for-TV movies, but Mark-Paul’s hair would’ve frustrated Vidal Sassoon.  Girls would prison shank each other just to run their fingers through the blonde locks of Zack Morris, but I reckon they’d only go near him to hand him a box of L’Oreal.  And Elizabeth Berkley’s hair should have been bigger.  The bigger the hair, the closer to God, and God couldn’t see a damn thing.

Get Off My Lawn
Remember when television shows set in high school always got criticized for how old the actors looked? Not the case for these youngsters. They might be the right ages to play the cast of Saved by the Bell, but all of their baby faces were too distracting. They looked more Muppet Babies than Lifetime stars.  Ironically, I wanted to see more about Mr. Belding mainly because the guy playing Dennis Haskins totally nailed Belding’s intonation and speech patterns.

Where’s the Show?
For an expose about a cheesy television show, we don’t get much of the television show itself.  Where’s The Max?  Where are the recreations of the awesome pastel sets?  Surely, the fans of the show would have enjoyed seeing Screech’s mother’s beloved Elvis statue getting broken or Zack tricking all the girls to love him using subliminal messages.

The one moment that they couldn’t deny was Elizabeth Berkley’s amazing (infamous?) caffeine pill “I’m SO excited!  I’M!  SO!  SCARED!” addiction frenzy.  The three female leads of the show wanted to prove themselves as dramatic actresses, and they convinced the writers to tackle more relatable, heavier plotlines.  Well, they dove right in, didn’t they?

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Welcome to Dullsville
The most troubling thing about The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story was that it was painfully dull.  Diamond’s book was packed wall-to-wall accusations about his fellow actors that made it the squeaky clean set sound like the Caligula soundstage.  Diamond’s book claims that Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Mario Lopez had flings with each of the female leads of the show, and the most damning claim is that the producers paid off a girl that Lopez forced himself upon.  Behind the Bell tells many tall tales involving sex and drugs, but Diamond claims a ghostwriter fabricated most of the stories and misquoted him.

The book’s content seems so over the top that I have a hard time believe a lot of it, but Unauthorized’s most salacious tidbit is when Mark-Paul and Lark Voorhees make doe-eyes at each other at a callback.  It’s pretty boring when your most scandalous elements are a kid actor throwing a temper tantrum about his paychecks and a female executive smoking cigarettes during the casting process (oh, the 90’s!).

If anything The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story was a missed opportunity.  It would have been more entertaining to maybe even see a parody of the show rather than a behind-the-scenes look.  If I wanted to see all these kids cheering each other on and singing “Kumbayah” while holding hands…I would just watch Saved by the Bell.  It’s not a story worth telling.