McLachlan & Moser take on “RuPaul’s Drag Race”

[Editor’s Note: Please welcome new Awards Daily TV contributors Megan McLachlan (@heydudemeg, Megoblog.com) and Joey Moser (@JoeyMoser83, Movie MoJoe). This week, Megan and Joey dig into the 3rd episode of this season’s “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” the reality competition series that airs Monday nights on Logo.]

The formula to Logo’s “RuPaul’s Drag Race” is as follows. Typically, from the first episode on, a dozen drag queens are thrown together, and compete in a series of competitions until one queen is crowned. But in season 6, Ru threw everyone for a loop when she had two big opening episodes (sexual pun VERY intended), each focusing on 7 queens instead of audiences being overwhelmed with 14 at once. Two queens were eliminated, and in the third episode entitled, “Scream Queens,” the remaining prospective drag superstars finally met, in what could be dubbed as “When Sallys met Sallys.”

Once the queens were introduced to each other, it was off to the drag races, with Ru introducing the first competition for the blended group. For this week’s mini-challenge (which can give an advantage to some in the subsequent main challenge), the queens had to pair off with someone they were unfamiliar with. (Trust us, hunty, they were about to get real close, REAL quick.) One queen had to sit on top of the other’s lap and create “one queen” to perform a song. Think: this dog video that’s gone viral. The amount of kicking, flailing, and thrashing these girls presented would make Louise Fletcher lose her mind.

After Adore and Milk won the beach bodies challenge, they each got to pick their own teams for the next challenge called “Scream Queens.” When picking teams, Adore and Milk basically selected their initial episode group, and Milk had a missed opportunity by not campaigning with, “I’m Milk, and I want to recruit you,” as an homage to the Gus Van Sant film. In this challenge, each team would perform one of two horror films: Drag Race Me to Hell or Drag Race Me to Hell 5. Team Adore selected the latter film because it takes place in the ‘80s and Adore’s a “huge fan of ‘80s horror films” (fun fact: she was born in 1989 AND appeared in this famous meme from “The Soup” after appearing on “American Idol”). However, picking a film that takes place in the ‘80s proved to be a challenge for Adore, who had no interest in learning her lines, and Gia Gunn, who had no idea what a DeLorean was (“For all I know, it’s an ancient dildo”). So the DRMtH5 movie was off to a greeeaaat start.
Meanwhile, with Team Milk on DRMTH, it appears that, for as beautiful as these queens are, they lack a lot of brains. Season after season, somehow the queen who’s not an actress or the queen who doesn’t speak English gets handed with the most lines, and this season, that honor went to Trinity H. Bonet, who called herself an acting virgin. Trinity seemed to be channeling season 2 champ Tyra Sanchez in this episode, as her dry delivery and monotone voice were reminiscent of “the other Tyra,” the most disappointing Drag Race champ of all time, in our opinions.

But even though Trinity was hymenally challenged when it came to acting (never has RuPaul ever had to get up from his chair to clarify direction), other Team Milk members like Courtney Act and Bianco Del Rio carried the weight and made the movie about as tolerably campy as this past season of “American Horror Story: Coven.” The same could not be said for Team Adore.

Poor April Carrion on Team Adore was challenged with playing a lesbian in her film, and had one of the most difficult roles, especially when she put it into these terms: “Gay boy being a woman being a boy as well.” Yikes. Who knew “Drag Race” could get so Shakespearean? Not even Meryl Streep could take on this role (kidding: She totally could). Gia’s cluelessness (she seems to be channeling Shoshanna from “Girls”) actually worked in her role as Valley Girl, and somehow RuPaul’s stellar film editors made Adore DeLano look like she actually knew her lines. On the other hand, when Vivacious’ head appeared in the box (read: not Gwyneth Paltrow), there was enough time in between script lines that Marty McFly could have flown to the ‘50s and back (a joke Gia Gunn, sadly, would not understand).

With their first acting challenge out of the way (to some of the queens’ relief…cough Trinity cough), the queens got ready for their first combined runway look. It seemed easy enough, because you had to present your BEST DRAG.  One would think that this would be simple.  Wear what you’re comfortable with. But some interpretations require a little explaining. And that’s being nice. The highlights? Laganja’s 1920’s, high-collared dress was a favorite for both of us, and her butterfly headpiece was to die for. We also dug April Carrion’s complimentary umbrella.  She can rain on our parade anytime she wants. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Adore Delano was trying a vamped up Bernadette Peters look and Gia was obviously channeling Ursula the Sea Witch’s audition tape for TRON: Legacy, with a hat that screamed Medusa (don’t look at her!). Darienne Lake, who’s kind of like the drag version of Cam on “Modern Family,” did her best twirl like Lupita Nyong’o on the red carpet.

To absolute no one’s surprise (not even their mothers) Team Milk was the winner of the challenge. Adore’s team should really hang their heads. RuPaul and guest judges Linda Blair and Lena Headey ripped on every member of Adore’s team for being underprepared for the challenge  and some of the contestants didn’t even make a lasting impression on the runway.  Vivacious really took a hit from regular judge Santino Rice for her “dated” and “unfeminine” outfit.  You throw on traffic cones, you will get run over, girl. Only BenDeLaCreme came out unscathed from Adore’s team, even with her Tammie Brown-esque get-up. That’s a compliment, not a read.

One would think that Adore would be in the bottom two since she was the team leader. The judges commented on how she miscast the other girls, and how she was the least prepared out of everyone on the team. Oh, well that doesn’t matter. Ex-squeeze me? For some reason, they like Adore’s personality, so they give her a pass and April Carrion landed in the bottom two with Vivacious. Apparently, doing what you are instructed to do will put you up for elimination. It was a confusing choice. Speaking of confusing choices! The song Vivacious and April had to lip sync to was Selena Gomez’s “Shake It Up,” and, since April looks like she could be Selena’s stunt double, she won the lip sync. The intensity for their performance was a bit surprising. We don’t normally see this kind of fierce last ditch effort until later in the season.  RuPaul found some strong competitors this year! And, just as an added note, Ru was rocking some dark Ruuts, and she looked fabulous.

Favorite Shade moment: “Trinity looks more like Sammy Davis Jr. in a Beyonce wig.” – Bianco Del Rio’s rebuttal to Trinity’s declaration that she’s Sasha Fierce

Best Ru pun: “Pinnochi-ho!”

Honorable mention: “Game of Cones”