Interview: Paula Malcomson Discusses Saying Goodbye To’Ray Donovan’- “We Work For The Gut Punch and the jugular.”

“I’m so happy we did it that way and that it affected people the way it did.” Ray Donovan bid farewell to Abby last season, and Paula Malcomson discusses her arc on the show and playing the show’s lead female.

WARNING —–SEASON FIVE SPOILERS BELOW ——

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Paula Malcomson said goodbye to her character Abby after five seasons on Showtime’s Ray Donovan. It was devastating watching as her character deteriorated and the matriarch of the show died from cancer in the episode titled Horses. I caught up with Malcomson to talk about playing Abby over the years.

What was it like being on the show?

It was a big part of my life. In total, it was six years and that being the guiding principle of my being here for seven months of the year to work on the show and playing a character like that for a long time. Liev and I were talking about it recently and we had something extraordinary between us and with me taking on the very female aspect of the show.

She wasn’t much of a developed character when I read the pilot, but I knew there was room for development and I knew how I liked to work and in a long TV series, you can dig in and do that aspect. She started as a character that I wanted to develop more and make her more three-dimensional. I think we got there through dogged persistence and bugging the writers and constantly pushing for that to happen over the years.

You talked about bugging the writers, did you have much input over the years?

Always. When you do TV you have a tremendous amount of input, you’re really co-writing. You have your own ideas, you work with the writers and you inform them and they inform you. When something would really annoy me, I could go to them or incrementally change things as well. There are all sorts of ways we were doing that.

Even on the floor on the day and we’re still working and molding this into something that feels truer for us. We’d change things as late as on the day. It’s that constantly challenging and saying, “OK, we’re going in and we’re not going to phone it in.” You’re constantly on your toes, constantly trying to make it better and you’re trying to make the character more human.

My thing on the show was to make it the heart and soul and without that family aspect, it’s a whole different show.

I’m curious to see what happens now given with what’s happened with Abby as they’ve taken away the heart of the series. What I loved about this season was that we really got to explore the dynamics of the relationship between Abby and Ray.

That was something I always had in the work that I was doing. These people met when they were so young and we always imagined what they were like when they were running around Boston and what Abby had sacrificed to be with him. I think it was nice to see that and we were looking at it, this season, through the prism of memory, subjectively. Memories are memories of memories, aren’t they? We’re a bit rose-tinted. He’s dragging around this cargo of regret and the fact that he’s taken her for granted. We get to see that as an audience and so it was interesting to play. In a lot of ways, there’s a sweet notion when people say to me, “It was your best season.” I could have had the best season by not dying. That’s the fear I have, for a female character, can’t we dig deeper and give her more agency as opposed to cutting her off?

There are still so many people who haven’t seen it. When I talk about it, they shriek, “Nooooooo.” People really relate to cancer and the storyline was so powerful and I really wanted to do it justice.

You absolutely did. Seeing your physical side as well as that emotion.

Thank you.

Were you happy with the sendoff and the way it was done?

I was happy with what I did with that decision and the way I turned in the work the way I wanted to. I was happy with how I got them to dig deeper into the storyline. We were going to touch on it lightly and I said, “No. I want to lose weight. I want to be bald and I want to see this happen.” I’ve seen this up close and personal. I didn’t want to do it any other way. I wasn’t interested in doing it any other way. I said, “If you want to do it any other way, just shoot me.” It’s too important. I was happy with that. I felt I had asked for that and they responded so well to it.

We don’t often see that. We don’t often see the degradation of someone, especially on TV. We were jumping through time, one minute I was fine and the next minute I was sick so that was tough for me to try to stay in that physical space and it was a hard year. I’m so happy we did it that way and that it affected people the way it did.

We’ve all been through this shit. People would say to me, “Thank you for giving it what it deserved.”

That was truly hard to watch because as you say, we all know someone who has gone through that.

The physical stuff was about wanting to lose weight and wanting to look like she was sick enough. It was about not eating very much. It was all that boring but necessary stuff you have to do as an actor. I wanted to look fucking awful. I felt like shit. It definitely takes a chunk out of you. There was no way to do it and fake it. There was no way to do it without makeup. I had to suffer for a while.

One of my favorite scenes was when she was looking at the painting with Patti Smith. The other was the ice rink scene. What’s it like having Miki Johnson write those lines?

Miki and I are cut from very similar cloth. I think there’s something about the way we both work. We work for the gut punch and the jugular. When Miki writes something, it’s something I can lean right into She has such a way exactly how I like to work. There’s not a lot of reworking, it’s more good stuff that I can go for. It was such a beautiful scene. The fact that she was really saying, “This is happening and we’re not going to deny it.” She’s taking agency. She finally makes the decision for herself and this is where she finally says enough.”

How was that last day on set?

There was not a dry eye in the house. The crew was upset. The cameramen had to walk away. Our camera operator couldn’t put his eye in the lens because he was crying so hard. It was so emotional. We’ve been in this show together for five years and we were saying goodbye. The boys didn’t like seeing me like that and they were all upset. You could hear a pin drop when we were doing that scene. The crew had this way of holding the set in such a sacred way so we could shoot it and they could pull me out of it when it was done. It was hard because they love me, you know? [laughs]. Grown men crying.

It was a long time.

It was. We all have our stories. There’s the Paula of it and there’s the Abby. Our still photographer couldn’t be on set because he was so overwhelmed.

When you first saw the pilot, did you know you were doing something special?

Yes. Something happens when I read something that feels like it has some leg. It was the same with Deadwood. It’s a feeling that I can’t describe and if I don’t get that feeling, I don’t pursue it. I know the voice and I knew this voice when I was reading Abby’s part. I knew it was something where we were really saying someone about men and women and how very male Ray is and how very female Abby is. We’ve come so far from when it started. I don’t know if shows like this will be made. It might be the last anti-hero type show.

There’s such a change.

There is a change in the air. Liev and I were talking about it. He was saying, “How do we do the show without this really important chess piece?” The show has now moved to New York and there is this whole set of new circumstances and it’s a great canvas. We shall see.