F. Murray Abraham Fired Over Jokes, Media Calls “Sexual Misconduct”

Apparently, F. Murray Abraham was fired for “Sexual Misconduct,” but now, has apologized not for his actions but for jokes he told. Yet, when I searched his name on Google News, I was greeted with various headlines:

Wouldn’t you assume that the words “Sexual Misconduct” imply some action against another person? I would. But I’m old school. The Rolling Stone story said he was first warned, then let go after the second warning and written off the show.

Abraham’s apology:

“This is a sincere and deeply felt apology,” he said in the statement. “Though never my intention to offend anyone, I told jokes, nothing more, that upset some of my colleagues and as a result lost a great job with wonderful people. I have grown in my understanding from this experience, and I hope they will forgive me.”

Jokes are now considered “sexual misconduct”? It would depend on the jokes, right? Yet no journalist anywhere, not in Rolling Stone, The Hollywood Reporter, or even the New York Post has gotten the story. What were the jokes? It matters, considering the career of an Oscar-winning actor is on the line. Not just the career, but the legacy.

Trust me when I tell you that younger people on social media will, before long, call him and think of him as a RAPIST just for the accusation alone. They aren’t going to give him the benefit of the doubt, not in this climate. No movie star or actor isn’t expendable when it comes to two things: image curation and monetary payouts.

Settling a lawsuit is nothing compared to the headache of a long story about the payouts. Abraham wasn’t worth the risk. No actor is. Not the most famous among them. Not anymore.

Obviously, I have no idea what jokes could have gotten F. Murray Abraham fired.

I tell dirty jokes all of the time. We have a running joke in our emails and communications here at AD that revolve around “That’s what SHE said.” You know, like “This one’s going to be a long and sweaty slog.” “That’s what SHE said.”

Now any one of the AD crew in those emails could flip out and report me. But if anyone on the email chain said, “Could you stop making those jokes? They make me uncomfortable.” I certainly would stop making those jokes when they were included in the email chain.

No one makes dirty jokes to offend. They do it to release tension. To laugh. That’s what keeps us sane and healthy. I could be retroactively sued for harm for making jokes with everyone else on the email chain (trust me, I’m nowhere near the most vulgar among us) because most of the time now, just the accusation is enough.

No wonder we live in a climate of fear with mostly hesitant writing if people are so sensitive they can’t laugh or dismiss a joke. The less you can laugh, the tenser and more freaked out you become.

Aren’t you curious about the jokes? I am. I’ve already become resigned to the New Left’s constant policing of thought and speech across all industries they control (which is all of them), and we’re all mandated to speak a certain way or else. Art is in the clutches of religion once again, as it was after the Hays Code was implemented. It’s just that it’s not Christianity we’re talking about here.

But let’s try to imagine what jokes would be so bad that some actress on set, or actor who knows, was offended enough to report him to HR not once but twice.

Dirty limericks? Most of these on this site are too vulgar to post here, but maybe something like this?

At McDonald’s in Guildford in Surrey
I spilt coffee on my crotch in a scurry
I had to act quick To cool down my dick
So I stuck it into my McFlurry

Someone nearby might take offense. They then complain to HR and say “he told this really gross joke about his dick and I found it extremely traumatizing.” They then tell him to cool it with the jokes. Maybe at first he thinks, what’s the big deal, they’re only jokes. So at some point, because the first limerick got some laughs on the set, he went in for a second round.

There once was a Scott named McAmeter
With a tool of prodigious diameter
‘Twas not his size
That caused such surprise
‘Twas his rhythm – iambic pentameter.

Maybe most of those around him would laugh, but perhaps another person, I’m guessing female, complained to HR that Abraham was talking about his dick AGAIN in a way that made her uncomfortable. That’s two strikes, two jokes and a freaked-out HR department. They’re potentially looking at lawsuits, maybe a big expose in the Daily Beast. No man is above being fired today, even the talented as F. Murray Abraham.

During the 1980s I worked at the Renaissance Faire, which was truly a hedonist’s paradise. There was even a kissing bridge; if you crossed it and there was a man on there, he could kiss you. And we’re not talking a peck on the cheek here. We’re talking a big sloppy ale-infused wet kiss, maybe even with some chunks of turkey leg dangling off the ‘stache.

The Commedia Dell’arte was just one sex joke after another.

Back in the 80s we viewed sexual harassment claims as shakedowns, a way to get a hefty payout. But that was because we were on the Left and people like Paula Jones were on the Right. Over time, and especially after the Me Too movement, the whole thing stopped being talked about that way. Still, it isn’t just image production companies are worried about. It’s also the potential pay out if they’re sued for harm.

The 90s me is looking around and thinking, man, you should have heard some of the jokes in my day. But okay, times have changed. As someone involved in theater and around actors, bawdy, overtly sexual humor was the status quo. I think back now, and there is no way many of us would not have been in big trouble for what we did to each other for laughs. Actors have been the one group that has traditionally been non-puritanical.

All things considered, I feel lucky I grew up at a time when everyone wasn’t so uptight. I’m glad I got to live through the Caddyshack era, the Monty Python era, the good Saturday Night Live era. Not what we’ve got now, which is too tame, too puritanical and way too safe.