“Always Be My Man:” What led Billy Porter to Break New Ground With His Oscar-Contending Original Song

I’m not sure where I landed on Billy Porter’s interview line-up the day we talked, but if he was exhausted after a long day of talking about “Always Be My Man,” he never let me know it. That’s what I love about Billy Porter, even more so after our chat—his passion for his art is infectious.

Porter co-wrote the duet “Always Be My Man” with Joe Killington and Conor Reeves and performed the track with his Our Son co-star Luke Evans.

Our Son follows Porter and Evans as they navigate the aftermath of their divorce and joint custody of their son.

As Porter discusses below, a story like Our Son has never been told before—a story of an interracial gay couple going through a divorce, featuring two openly gay actors. As for writing “Always Be My Man,” Porter had been looking to write an original song for one of his projects for years. “I wanted to be like Barbra Streisand,” says Porter.

Read our full conversation with Billy Porter below, including what drew him to Our Son, the writing process for “Always Be My Man,” potentially completing his EGOT, and his mission to spread hope through his work.

Awards Daily: I have to start by talking about the movie, which I absolutely loved. It tore me up, but I loved it. Why did you decide to take on this part in Our Son and write the song, “Always Be My Man.”

Billy Porter: What I loved about this script is that it allowed me the opportunity to be quiet. I’m known for my flamboyance. I’m known for my over-the-topness. So much so that people who watch Pose forget that I had HIV and died on that show. There are a lot of people who don’t remember that there was just as much dramatic work going on in Pose for me as there were the fun parties at the balls. Because sometimes the fabulous overpowers the quiet.

 That’s what I loved about [Our Son]. And that’s why I took this part. I also took it because with gay marriage, and the right to marry, comes the right to divorce. We have got to tell all the stories. This is a new story that we’re telling.

Another thing is that this is an interracial gay couple, not just interracial, but both actors are out, “above the title” Hollywood names. It’s never happened before. The last time they tried to do this was Brokeback Mountain, with two really cute, straight people. And they were wonderful. And it’s a new day. So, there’s that.

Now, I’m a music person. I know that’s new to a lot of people who got on the Billy Porter train late. But my first album came out in 1997, that’s 27 years ago. I have four albums. 

I spent 25 years of my career trying to get gatekeepers to take me seriously as an actor. And now that that’s happened, I’m reading stuff online like, ‘Oh, I didn’t know Pray Tell could sing.’ 

AD: And you’re like, ‘Where have y’all been?’

BP: Right! I’ve been trying, in all of the films I’ve done, to have a song connected to it so that I could sing like Barbra Streisand. I wanted to be like Barbra Streisand.

They dismissed me as if it was a crazy idea. Why would I ever think that that’s a thing to do? And then my student, Leslie Odom Jr., makes a movie [Regina King’s 2021 film One Night in Miami], gets an Oscar nomination, writes a song for the film [“Speak Now”], and gets an Oscar nomination for the song! 

And I’m like, ‘Are y’all gonna listen to me now?’ The world has changed, right? I have changed because now I’m a name. You know, people listen to me now. We had the opportunity to do [“Always Be My Man”]. And when I found out I’d be doing the song with Luke, he can really sing for real. And I’m like, ‘When have you ever seen a love duet in a film in the vein of “Endless Love” and You Don’t Bring Me Flowers” ever in the history of cinema? Never. You’ve never seen it. 

AD: There is a moment toward the end of the movie that I loved where your character Gabriel says, and I’m paraphrasing, ‘You know, the anger fell away, and I just thought, why aren’t we raising him together?’ I thought that was so beautiful. It’s this idea and this moment where you go, ‘Why didn’t we just have this conversation? Why didn’t we let everything go?’ And I think that is such a universal thing everyone needs to hear. I needed to hear it. 

BP: Mm-hmm… 

AD: I love that there is so much empathy for both characters because it could have been so easy to have a villain, right? 

BP: Well, that’s what I loved about the script is that it’s very balanced. There is no villain.

It’s a story about how people come into your life for a reason, a season, and, or a lifetime. 

I’m a hope person. I’m a hope artist. I will drag you through the pits of hell, but I’m not going to leave you there. It will end with some version of hope. It’s not trauma porn. I don’t like trauma porn. We have to talk about trauma. We have to tell those stories. And we have to have aspirational goals to overcome and to transcend. Otherwise, what’s the point, right? Life is hard. We know that. It can be really sucky. We know that. We have been living in the middle of a collective trauma for the last seven years. We know! So, where do we gather the hope from?

We, as artists, get to infuse and inject healing into the culture. We’re healers. 

Toni Morrison says, “This is precisely the time when artists go to work. There is no time for despair, no place for self-pity, no need for silence, no room for fear. We speak, we write, we do language. That is how civilizations heal.”

This movie is healing. 

AD: Billy, do you ever have a moment, I have this when I write, where I think, ‘This is too personal, maybe I shouldn’t include that in there.’ Is there a limit or boundary for what you might share? Do you ever question if something is too much?

 BP: Not yet. Not yet. There may be a time, but not yet.

That’s my purpose as an artist— is to lay things bare and be a representative of humanity so that maybe somebody else can be changed and healed from watching me go through something and get to the other side, you know? And so that’s my calling. That’s my purpose. That’s my ministry. That’s the kind of work I do. That’s the kind of thing I’m committed to personally. 

AD: You have a beautiful script. How does that then lead to the creation of a song? And the idea of “Always Be My Man.” There will always be a piece of this couple connected to one another. How do you put that feeling into words?

BP: I wrote it with two other amazing songwriters [Joe Killington and Conor Reeves], and we collaborated in a room together and came up with it. I mean, it’s just that simple. 

You know this as a writer. You have got to get down, and you have got to put something on the page. And that’s all we did. And Luke Evans can sing his butt off.

AD: You two had some great chemistry, that’s for sure. I know why you didn’t end up together, but I was upset.

BP: I was upset, too. Genuinely. Just FYI. 

AD: When you are working with these collaborators and having these songwriting sessions, do you have a process? Or is it just putting a pen to paper, seeing what comes out, and going from there? 

BP: You know, it depends. It’s different. It’s case by case. You always start with an idea. Depending on the song, a lyric might come first. Or a melody might come without a lyric, or vice versa. You might start with a beat, and then something comes from that. You might start with a chord progression, and then something sparks out of that.

AD: This being Awards Daily, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that you are missing the O in your EGOT. 

BP: I am! [Laughs].

AD: Is that something that you think about? Is that something that you want? 

BP: Yes! We all want it. We all think about it. If they say they don’t, they’re lying! [Laughs]. However, I’m an artist first. It’s about the work. I’m not focused on winning awards. It’s a “yes, and” situation. It’s part of the dynamic, and for me, as a Black, Queer man in this business, I ain’t Brad Pitt. I ain’t even Will Smith. They matter. The awards don’t matter for certain people. They matter for me. When I get an award, doors open up that were locked shut for decades. So, [the award] is a tool for me to get my work out and for me to be seen even more. So, it’s a” Yes, And” And when it happens, because I’m claiming it, I’ll be ready.

AD: Yes! Speaking it into the universe.

 BP: Must.

AD: Billy, other than telling people to watch Our Son, which is a must. Is there anything I haven’t asked you about or anything else that you want to mention? 

BP: I also have a new pop album that just came out three weeks ago called Black Mona Lisa, and I would love for the synergy of all of these things to work together.

AD: Yes! 

BP: I’m in all of the spaces. Let’s open up our minds to be able to receive more than one thing at the same time. I know sometimes that’s hard, but you know, daddy’s fierce, it’s all happening at once. What can I say? 

Our Son is now playing in select theaters and available on VOD. Watch Billy Porter and Luke Evans perform “Always Be My Man” here.