“I miss God…” Tim Laughlin says in Showtime’s Fellow Travelers. It is spoken unironically with pure honesty.
You don’t often hear gay or queen characters share their devotion for a higher purpose, but Jonathan Bailey’s Tim is a unique, loving person. As decade after decade passes in Ron Nyswaner’s landmark limited series, Tim’s relationship with God might change but he will always have a connection to his faith. In a performance packed with unwavering vulnerability, Jonathan Bailey paints the picture of a man whose curiosity is an asset and never a hinderance.
Tim Laughlin is someone who lives fiercely. He falls hard for Matt Bomer’s Hawkins Fuller, and it’s natural to see why he would be hungry for more contact with him as their affair unfurls. Tim, however, does not share his lover’s penchant for selfishness, something that Hawkins views as a necessary tool for survival. In a way, Tim wants the system to be dismantled in order to analyze why gay men are not treated fairly, and he will dedicate his life fighting for goodness in a world determined to knock him down.
I could not stop thinking about the invisible bond between Tim and Lucy. They are, in a way, war buddies in the fight to hold Hawkins’ heart as close as they can, but they don’t directly compete for Hawk’s affections. Bailey and Allison Williams only share a handful of moments together, but they are powerful ones. They speak briefly on the phone and once in person when Tim tries to hide who he is. Their last interaction, when Tim is in the hospital, is one of the best of the series. Tim is a character who doesn’t seem to have any hate in his heart, and he carries none for Lucy. A lesser show would’ve made them simply adversaries, but their scars are similar but entirely their own.
“I spent most of my life waiting for God to love me. Then I realized that the only thing that matters is that I love God,” Tim says later in the season. Tim is a character that lives and loves with his whole heart, his entire being–it’s the only way that he knows how. Fellow Travelers has garnered a lot of buzz for its unapologetically frank view on sex and its tormented heartbreak, but we should all consider that a Tim Laughlin is our true prize. If he can step into the light with no fear, we should take that upon ourselves to do the same.
Fellow Travelers is streaming now on Paramount+.