Jean-Luc Godard unaware of Oscar; Kevin Brownlow bewildered by urgent news

The Academy Board of Governors doesn’t think the Honorary Oscars are worth 15 minutes of our time on Oscar night. But the THR wants to milk the suspense from trivial secretarial details surrounding the dinner invitations. The announcement was made yesterday that Francis Ford Coppola, Eli Wallach, Jean-Luc Godard and Kevin Brownlow will be the recipients of this year’s special tributes to be handed out at an undisclosed location on November 13. Today The Hollywood Reporter has the headline: “Godard doesn’t know he’ll win Oscar.”

The motion picture Academy has spent almost 24 frantic hours trying to reach the iconoclastic filmmaker (“Breathless”) to inform him he’s getting an honorary Oscar — and by late Wednesday they still hadn’t been able to find him.

“We’ve been attempting to reach him since 7 o’clock Tuesday evening and we have as yet had no confirmation,” Bruce Davis, the Academy’s executive director, said late Wednesday afternoon. “We have tried by telephone, by fax, by emails to various friends and associates. We have sent a formal letter by FedEx. But we have certainly not been told he will show up at this point.”

How thrilling. The honorary awards are 15 weeks away, so let’s save some of that “frantic” for the kitchen staff in case they can’t find any untainted eggs for the cr√®me brul√©e. For me that would be roughly the same level of concern on the Banquet Crisis Scale.

It’s entirely possible that Godard reads newspapers or has a friend with a TV, maybe even a short-wave radio, so there’s a good chance he’ll find out about his Oscar without all those faxes and frantic stalking of anybody who might know his whereabouts.

Meanwhile the Board of Governors informed 72-year-old Kevin Brownlow with an emergency phone call in the middle of the night. Because nothing says “we honor you” better than, “wake up! wake up! oh sorry, were you asleep? forgot about the time zone thing.”

The Americans were informed Tuesday night. Brownlow was awoken in London by a call from Academy president Tom Sherak.

“They were all thrilled, Mr. Brownlow especially,” Davis said of the silent film historian. “He had no idea why the president of the Academy had reached him in the middle of the night.”

yeah, neither do I. The distress call couldn’t wait till 8 a.m. UK time? Have to shake the old fellow awake like he’s the only guy with the launch codes or something?

How is this important enough news that somebody at the BoV needed to spill the breathless details? What makes it a headline story for the THR?

And ok, fair enough, why am I even repeating it? I’m posting it for the silliness factor, and because it’s an opportunity to vent some frustration. Hearing all these tingly details about frantic faxes and middle-of-the-night phone calls is a little like listening to the problems of a friend who’s planning a fabulous party to which we know we’re not invited. How are we expected to care whether the office of the Board of Governors is in a tizzy about overblown urgencies for a private party 3 months from now — but we’re not even allowed to see clips of Lauren Bacall’s Oscar tribute a year after the fact?

Here’s a headline I’d be excited to see on the front page of The Hollywood Reporter: “Godard doesn’t know about his Oscar; doesn’t much care either.” Get in touch with some of his associates to confirm his trademark insouciance, why don’t you? Really no need to confirm it. The whole world already knows.

Exciting Oscar news, this. I know; sorry to waste your time. Looking forward to hearing about the fabulous fiasco production numbers planned for Oscar night this year. Maybe Will Ferrell and Russell Brand singing a medley of Bruce Vilanch’s Greatest Zingers. Instead of 10 lousy minutes dedicated to Godard. God forbid The Academy attempt anything with a touch of class that might educate Americans a little bit about one of the most important directors in the history of cinema.