Much Ado About Lohan

Alarmed that Katherine Heigl might be doing a better job sabotaging her career than she is, Lindsay Lohan has magnanimously withdrawn her name from consideration for this year’s Emmys. What? You missed Lindsay’s tour de force performance on Ugly Betty? That’s what you get for blinking. For a couple of hours earlier today you could watch it unfold in its 31-second entirety on youtube, but I guess ABC feels the nuances of Lohan’s immersion in the role are best enjoyed on DVD. As New York Magazine observes:

Even though two of her four lines were “Betty!” and “That’s okay,” she knows there are no small parts, only very small odds of winning an Emmy, which is what everyone else would have had if she hadn’t withdrawn from the race. This whole thing makes us hope Britney Spears wins for her work on How I Met Your Mother (hilariously, Britney did submit her name for consideration) just so we can start a big fight about how it’s just like the 1980 summer Olympics and Britney wouldn’t have won if Lindsay hadn’t stayed home.

Oh NYM, must you mercilessly tease the psuedo-divas? As Katherine Heigl once said, “Only one man ever understood me, and he didn’t understand me.”

[ERRATUM: Apparently that last quote is from Hegel (Georg Wilhelm Friedrich) — but I’m sure Katie would concur.]