Premature Adulation – Best Director Keeps Going and Coming and Always Too Soon

It would be gross — that Brad Brevet and Jeff Wells are ready to splooge on Oscar’s stomach this early – if the race weren’t so utterly predictable. Yeah, it’s really that easy.

So these are unlucky saps to have their asses hanging out there early.  Me, I’m still looking for a wall to beat my head against instead.

Match the movie to the white guy:

Wolf of Wall Street
The ABSCAM something or other
The Monuments Men
Gravity
Foxcatcher

I will bet that two, at the most three, out of five of these make it in.    But Alexander Payne, Joel and Ethan Coen, Ryan Coogler, Steve McQueen for starters, all pushing through – not to mention Baz Luhrmann for The Great Gatsby (currently the last name listed on Brevet’s site).

Wait, I almost got caught up in it too. No, must not get caught up. Let’s instead help train Oscar bloggers how to not splooge early.  Baseball is a good distraction. Also, stop picturing the gold statue in someone’s hand, that might also work.   Bloggers just take a wild guess at what might get in, which is probably a bit unfair. 2012 was the first year in a long while where the “Oscar movies” all lived up to the hype (voters ended up going with the early safe choice anyway).

But usually, this is exactly the kind of hype that destroys films during this time of year, no offense.

Brevet’s list on his site is here but I’m listing them below too.

#1 George Clooney (Monuments Men)
#2 David O. Russell (Untitled David O. Russell Abscam Project)
#3 Martin Scorsese (The Wolf of Wall Street)
#4 Bennett Miller (Foxcatcher)
#5 Alfonso Cuaron (Gravity)

Next tier:

#6 Steve McQueen (12 Years a Slave)
#7 Ryan Coogler (Fruitvale)
#8 Alexander Payne (Nebraska)
#9 Paul Greengrass (Captain Phillips)
#10 Scott Cooper (Out of the Furnace)
#11 Ron Howard (Rush)
#12 Jason Reitman (Labor Day)
#13 John Wells (August: Osage County)
#14 Ridley Scott (The Counselor)
#15 Woody Allen (Blue Jasmine)
#16 Neill Blomkamp (Elysium)
#17 John Lee Hancock (Saving Mr. Banks)
#18 Denis Villeneuve (Prisoners)
#19 Spike Lee (Oldboy)
#20 Joel Coen and Ethan Coen (Inside Llewyn Davis)
#21 Brad Furman (Runner, Runner)
#22 Susanne Bier (Serena)
#23 Derek Cianfrance (The Place Beyond the Pines)
#24 James Gray (Lowlife)
#25 Lee Daniels (The Butler)
#26 Bill Condon (The Fifth Estate)
#27 Justin Chadwick (Mandela: Long Walk To Freedom)
#28 Baz Luhrmann (The Great Gatsby)